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I mean that. You’ve been the model of a perfect husband since last summer. You’ve been working hard, going to karate, and helping Kathy take care of Bethany. You’ve been a good dad to your kids. And there hasn’t been a whiff of drama since I came home.”“But I needed to see Doctor Mercer,” I said.“Yes, you did. You didn’t freak out. You didn’t shut down. You talked to your friends and took their advice. And you got the help you needed.”I chuckled, “Doctor Mercer still insists that I didn’t need her help, that she needed mine with Bethany.”“Are you going to see Doctor Mercer on Saturday?”“Yes, I’m driving down Friday night so I can have an early morning appointment with her. Mostly it’ll be about Bethany, I’m sure.”Jessica laughed again, “Sometimes you are so clueless, it’s sweet.”“What are you talking about?”“She IS helping you. She’s just using different tactics. What do you talk to her about?”“Bethany coming to terms with what happened and getting on with her life and how to help. "Last night I was even thinking of Matt as a sexual partner. That scares me Steve," she admitted. "I was even intrigued as to Eileen's interests," she added. "That's simply not like us." I listened carefully and then I agreed, "nothing should ever become so powerful that it threatens our relationship." She held me and said, "if we were to bring someone else into our bed, it could never be undone. We would have to live with the consequences." "Last night I felt the desire to do things I swore I would never do," she confessed. "To be honest I was surprised when Matt's predictions were so accurate. I enjoyed what it did for us yesterday and I want that to continue, but I just can't see us taking it from fantasy to reality." She was nearly in tears as she spoke.I held her and said, "first and foremost I love you. No fantasy will ever change that. I apologize that my fantasy has caused your concern. We can forget it ever happened or keep it as our fantasy. I will be happy as long as you.
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